When you deny your own abilities

When you deny your own abilities

We see people all around who think of themselves as the ultimate. They believe that they are the very best in what they do and often underestimate others. Even when exposed to their own shortcomings, these people believe or try to make others believe that they are perfect. They even pretend mock humility with the hope that others would sing praises for them. They are very often unhappy when this doesn’t happen and truth distracts them.

However there are a few amongst us who are unaware of their own abilities. This may be difficult for the vast majority of us to believe, but they do exist. Even stranger are those people who know their own abilities but deny it to themselves and to others. Why do they do so?

Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. In the case of denial, it can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality. If you are in denial, it often means that you are struggling to accept something that seems overwhelming or stressful. This could include your own abilities, and more importantly likely expectation of others. However, in the short term, this defense mechanism can have a useful purpose. It can allow you to have time to adjust to a sudden change in your reality. By giving yourself time, you might be able to accept, adapt, and eventually move on.

But denial can also cause problems in your life, particularly if it keeps you from addressing a problem or making a needed change. In some cases, it can prevent you from accepting appreciation, recognition and help.

This is not to be misconstrued as fear. Fear is when you are vary of the outcomes. Defense however is not actually denial but difficulty in accepting. In fact this is the real nature of all humans until the concept of “I” gets deeply ingrained in you. When the “I” becomes overwhelming is when you become the self-promoter. However when “I” stays within realistic realms, you will seek to stay within the safety of being unrecognized.

Humility is what it is often thought of as. While in some cases this may be true, mostly this is not true. You being unaware of your abilities is in most cases an untrue statement. It is denying your ability to yourself to defend yourself. It is also a way to have to perform.

Finally there is always laziness. You know you can but you don’t want to. That is a common enough case. How many times have you denied your abilities, just to make sure that you do not have to do something? You in reality want to lay back and not do, deny responsibility and be at ease.