Value of Life’s hard lessons (cont’d)

Value of Life’s hard lessons (cont’d)

It’s true that life never gets easier, and we only get continuously better at our lives. Childhood’s lessons are simple. As we get older, lessons keep coming, and though they might still remain simple in their message, truly understanding them can be difficult. Often we learn the hard way. The good news is, the “hard way” is indeed a great teacher. Learning the hard way often involves struggle, mistakes and failure. While these feelings are undeniably uncomfortable, being patient and persistent enough to move through them often leaves us not only wiser in having gained the lesson, but more confident, assured and emotionally resilient. If that’s not growth, I don’t know what is.
If you were to ask people to share their own life lessons “learned the hard way,” and the answers, though varied, all touched on something useful that everyone can probably relate to. Especially those of us who have had the blessing of living long enough to gain a lot of hard-won knowledge. I have tried to enumerate some of the best lessons that all of us either have learned, are trying to learn or will learn soon enough. Reading them isn’t necessarily the same as experiencing them, but there is still some comfort in knowing they are all part of what it means to be human.
Learn to love others, but do not forget that you are a person too. No one understands you as well as you do and the first person who can address your problem is you. So do realise that you need to learn to love yourself. If you don’t, no one else will. This is a lesson that I learned through years of hard learning. Every time I forgot myself, I learnt that everyone else did too.
What stops you from bringing out the very best in you is fear of failure or criticism. This fear can stem from a number of sources. Sometimes it might emerge in response to a specific situation. In other cases, it might be related to your own anxiety. In addition to emotional and behavioural symptoms, people with a fear of failure may even experience physical symptoms. It would help if you set out on something with clearly set pathways and clearly defined objectives. I may also help if you reassessed you strategies. But most importantly do remind yourself that EVERYONE fails. Learn to forgive yourself for defeats.
Always remember that not everyone will like you for doing the right thing. Even the very best deeds done with the clearest of conscience will still have people disliking it. Not everyone sees life the same way, especially when it is done with a far reaching objective. I have learned that the only thing to do about it is to ignore them, as long as you know your way forward is the right one. Your ears can occasionally be given the tine to shut down.
One thing that I remember with vivacity is that time does not heal all wounds. Most days get better but you’ll always have days where you feel it all over again as if it just happened and you can’t do anything about it except to ride it out. Let the tide wash over you and let go of it. Keep it in mind that no sadness or feeling of shame is permanent.
And do not forget your health – physical, emotional and financial are your responsibility. Loss of any can be irretrievable, most of the time. Be responsible.