A heart that forgives

A heart that forgives

To forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner was truly you –Flavia Medrust

Forgiveness is clearly a voluntary action. After someone deeply hurts us, forgiveness is something we choose to do when we are ready to move on or when the love in our hearts speaks louder than temporary hate. In a world where being out for revenge seems to be more at hand, and appears to bring more satisfaction, it actually takes courage and strength to do it. “An eye for an eye” is a reaction to being hurt, physically or emotionally. The need for retaliation poisons our minds, and it takes hard work to finally be able to say “I forgive you.” But maybe if we would take a break from finding the perfect plan to get revenge and thought about the benefits of forgiving others and ourselves, we may surprise ourselves by being better and happier

Let us accept this truth, we’re all going to be hurt by someone, somewhere, and at some time. It may be something someone says at work, or a parent or friend’s broken promise, or it could be a lover’s rejection. In fact it could be a number of different things. These hurts may be verbal in what others say or the names they may call you. It may be non-verbal, such as people turning their backs on you, a lack of affection, or abuse. The act of forgiving is not in assuming that these things never happened but in accepting it. Forgiveness is about letting go of the past, understanding and moving on. It’s about taking care of your own mental health and setting yourself free.

There are countless stories of true tolerance. Some that could bring tears to your eyes. Here is one such.

Tiki Finlayson’s life was impacted by the careless and thoughtless deeds of Latisha Stephens. Stephens after a night of drunken partying was driving recklessly when her car hit Yates the twenty five year old son of Tiki, killing him instantly. Stephens was sentenced to prison for vehicular homicide by intoxication. However when the two women met at the court room and Tiki’s word were historic. “I forgive you for the pain your deed has caused me, but it in no way says what you did is okay. It is just to say that what has happened cannot be reversed and we need to move on.” Two years later at Stephens’s parole hearing Tiki announced that she had forgiven Stephens and the court took heed of the statement and released her. Today the two women head the 1N3 an organization that spreads the message of the dangers of driving drunk. 1N3 stands for one in three, which means that one out of three people are directly or indirectly impacted by cases of drunken driving and adversely affected.

A mother who chose to forgive has resurrected the wrong doer and convert her into someone with a great purpose in life, one that gives hope to many. That is the sheer strength of forgiveness.