Managing Anger

Managing Anger

Anger is a normal reaction that will manifest itself in every healthy human being. It is an emotion that is closely related to the fight or flight impulses in humans. With the advent of civilization, and humans moving into safer living zones, this innate reflex metamorphosed into anger, a response to something we strongly dislike like. Today’s humans respond angrily due to many external and internal causes.
The external causes include acute disappointment, slight, uncomfortable situations, feeling cheated or betrayed, feeling deprived of what is rightfully yours etc. There are also internal causes like, emotional upsets, stress and even physical conditions like hyper tension. These causes may be present singly or may work in unison. Well these are the scientific reasons for anger.
However the results of anger outbursts, needs hardly any scientific explanation. More relationships have been damaged by anger, than by any other cause. Be it family, friendship, community grouping, there are umpteen broken relations, owing to anger outbursts. Not to forget violence that has occurred due this unsavory happening. That is not to mention the damage causes physically to the one in anger, himself. Anger can and will continue to ruin many a life, family and society. It has even caused war between nations.
It is imperative that we have some method to rein in.
Here are some easy and practicable ways
Ready to get your anger under control?
● Think before you speak. It will be a great practice to take two deep breathes before you ever respond to any thing. This can help in many ways, other than anger control. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
● Once you’re calm, express your anger. As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but no confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
● Get some exercise. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
● Take a timeout. Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.
● Identify possible solutions. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
● Stick with ‘I’ statements. To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”
● Don’t hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
● Use humor to release tension. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
● Practice relaxation skills. When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
● Know when to seek help. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
Well it is easier said than done, some may say. One does agree, but it is imperative that you start somewhere. This life is too short to be wasted in anger.